Hey Yo Adrianne
Welcome to "Hey Yo Adrianne" - the ultimate business and marketing podcast hosted by yours truly, Adrianne!
I've been through it all, bought the t-shirt (possibly stained with coffee, too), and taken on challenges I never thought I was prepared for. From leaping headfirst into the coffee industry (yes, you read that right!), to steering my branding and marketing company for seven years and counting, my journey has been a rollercoaster, and I'm thrilled to have you ride shotgun with me.
We're ditching the corporate jargon and formalities, folks! It's all about keeping it real, like your best gal pals chatting over lattes. Just me and my squad of industry legends, dishing out the freshest tips, tricks, and strategies to turbocharge your business and marketing game.
So grab your drink of choice (coffee, cocktails, or kombucha), get cozy, and let's transform those dreams into real-deal success! "Hey Yo Adrianne" is here to ignite your entrepreneurial spark and make the journey a blast.
Hey Yo Adrianne
Embracing a New Chapter with Amy Bolding
This podcast episode is a tribute to the resilience and rebirth that shape our lives, with a special focus on my guest, Amy Bolding, whose book "Dearly Divorced" offers a beacon of hope for those navigating the stormy seas of personal upheaval. Together, we unwrap the complex emotions tied to friendship, betrayal, and the bittersweet journey of moving forward.
Amy and I dive into the intricacies of redefining oneself amidst life's trials, from the rawness of grief to the excitement of finding unexpected love. We unpack the dance of steering friendships post-divorce, the trials of guiding teenagers through the maze of modern relationships, and the surprising delights of rediscovering oneself.
This episode is the perfect example storytelling, as it stitches together a tapestry of lessons on endurance, identity, and the power of community. Whether you're a mother, a friend, or simply a soul seeking some peace in the shared threads of human experience, there's a place for you at our table. So, pour matcha, settle into your favorite chair, and join in on our chat!
Follow Amy on Social - @theamybolding
Follow Amy’s Poetry Page - @amyboldingpoetry
Buy ‘Dearly Divorced’ Here - amazon
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Hello, hello, welcome back to another episode of there's More. Where that Came From? This is Adrienne. Welcome back. Took a little week and a half hiatus but, for kind of great reasons, recently celebrated a birthday, march 8th, which is also International Women's Day. And listen, I am not a He-Man woman hater club, but imagine celebrating like on that day, everyone's like making these posts, and I feel like we've kind of lost the meaning of like the difference between like Mother's days and Secretary's Day, and I think everyone just needs to do a little bit of research about what the history of that day means and then reflect on that. And also, like you could wish me a happy birthday. I would have loved that free PR, you know. So, recently celebrated my birthday. It was super low key, but it was exactly how I wanted to spend it.
Speaker 1:I went back to the farm. I'm in my garden girl era again. For those of you that have been around for a little bit. I got into that last spring and I'm happy to report I had a semi successful harvest. I learned a lot, a lot of lessons learned, but I'm gonna do it again. And so I've been working in the garden cleaning out flower beds. I should I should record that. I don't know, that's probably. I don't know. We'll see you know. So updates on those I guess to come if you follow me on Instagram at heoadrian. So check that out.
Speaker 1:You guys, this week's episode I'm so excited to share with you Amy Bolding. She is an author of a recently published book, dearly Divorced. You can grab it on Amazon, barnes and Noble wherever you get your books. I also attached all of the details to follow Amy and find her book in the show notes. But you guys, you're gonna love her. Okay, I just have to tell you she reminds me of I think her name is Jessica Chastain. If you ever watched the movie the Help, she is the blonde bombshell character, and Amy just reminds me so much of her and all of the best ways. And Amy and I met online. We're online friends. We met online, I want to say in like 2020, 2019, 2020. And we just instantly hit it off and when I heard Amy was publishing a book, I knew I just had to have her on here and we talked about such a unique perspective of the book and like a lot about where her inspiration came from and like her creative process. So I'm excited to share that.
Speaker 1:As you guys know, we have had another author on the podcast, todd Kenney, who published the book. I didn't believe that either, so definitely go check out that episode. That's actually my most top performing episode. So if you haven't listened to it, go back, give it a little listen. And also, you guys, if you could go to the review section and if you haven't already subscribed and all that means is like you get alerted when a new podcast goes up, and that's cool. And also if you could leave me a review on the podcast. That just one helps me know what you guys like and what episodes you guys like and what I can bring more of to the podcast. And also it really just helps us like grow the pod. So thank you to those who have done that already. I appreciate it. Okay, let's jump into it. Me, I, you are someone that the from the moment that I met you, I was like this bitch is my friend and I'll never forget walking in to this. Was it called the Scott? Was that where we stayed?
Speaker 2:Well, I don't even remember. I don't even remember it was in Scottsdale. I know that, yeah.
Speaker 1:And I just remember like we were there for something else, but like we were also there to have some fun and I just connected with you and ever since then you've just had this like piece of my heart and I feel like I've known you forever and so everything that you've been through the last two years I won.
Speaker 1:I think what's really cool about our friendship is I didn't know really any of that. I don't live by you, so after the accident I literally it was like it wasn't like I could pop by your house, type of thing, and so to watch you as another female just going through so many different things that were happening all at the same time, which I want to get into more today it was just I just really admire you and I respect you so much. I just I think admire is probably like the best word because you're so funny and like, besides being really pretty, which is just a perk I just I really don't know how you do it all and when you had announced that you were like publishing a book like you would wrote a book and I saw the cover one it like made so much sense, but I'm just so proud of you and like everything that you have going on.
Speaker 1:We're not supposed to cry in this, and I'm just going to tell you that though I just feel like that's so important, like for for me to tell you that, and this doesn't even have to like make the podcast. I just I don't know where you find the strength and I maybe that's like my first question to you like where do you find? Not, maybe not even like the strength, but like the strength, the inspiration, the motivation to just show up 100% and literally everything that you have going on.
Speaker 2:I asked myself that question a lot and you know you describe the friendship and I just want to say I was literally talking about you last night and trying to explain. You know, when you meet somebody for the very first time and you're just like that bitch is my friend, like we're, this is, we're on the same level, it's like an immediate connection and I wish so badly that we did live together, because I lived together. Do you want to know that too?
Speaker 1:I mean, fine, I'll move in.
Speaker 2:Okay, live nearby, because I feel like that's like you're one of those people that I instantly connected with, like I can be myself around, and it's so rare to find that it's. I think that it's something that I definitely treasure and I'm glad that you feel the same way. So at first I just want to get that off my chest and just feel the same. I felt the same way and I just I wish life hadn't been as crazy as it had, because I feel like you and I should have connected at least three or four times minimum between now and then. But, to answer your question, to be perfectly real with you, there have been so many days and nights of me just sitting on the floor, crying, pleading, screaming all the things that we do when we're going through grief and through hard times just saying I don't have anymore to give, I don't have any more to give, and then, knowing what the angle is and knowing that I've got three little ones that are not only watching everything that I do I'm already, oh man, 10 minutes in. Geez, they need, I need to, they need to see me pick myself up, and there's a big piece here that just God feels.
Speaker 2:You know where you hear that inspiration or somebody shares something with you that you just have a line in something that you listen to or that you read or that somebody shares with you and then all of a sudden, oh yeah, okay, I can use that, I can. So it's like just filling up my tank just a little bit at a time. You ever go to the gas station. You got three bucks left to your name. You're like I just got to get home. You know it's like that, but metaphysically that's it, that's all. That's all it is really.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh. Okay. So for anyone that, because this, this is like a newer podcast. I don't know if you know this, but I've been trying to get this off the ground for a while and your episode will probably be somewhere, like maybe in the first 10 episodes, and so my hope is is that the people who have been listening they're going to be listening to this, but also new people are going to be coming back and listening to this, and I really want one. I gave you one hell of an introduction and that'll be recorded and added to this, but do you want to just tell everybody a little bit about who you are, where you're from and something that you just launched, and then maybe from there, we can like go back a couple years from when we like first met, and I want to start there, so Cool.
Speaker 1:Yeah so tell us about yourself.
Speaker 2:I am just a little small town girl, grew up in the country. You didn't have the easiest of upbringings. I'll just, you know, throw that out there. You know, started with not a whole lot and up three little ones and prior to meeting you, I was, you know, with my spouse. At the time we were doing what normal people do with small babies just kind of struggling, grinding away, building things and we ended up, you know, after years of just blood, sweat and tears. We ended up with our dream farm, our dream house. We moved out to Utopia, texas, and at that time I met you through mutual friends who were doing our bond, because I had started doing our bond. Still to this day, love it and I love every single person that I met on that journey. And luckily, you and I crossed paths at that time and, you know, life I really was like man. Life is good, like life is finally here. I am good, I feel good, my kids are happy, my kids are healthy, I've got a good marriage, I've got the house of my dreams. You know, I mean it wasn't anything fancy, but it was something that we worked really hard, that we thought we were never going to get.
Speaker 2:And then, all of a sudden God sends this meteor and then my whole life just I feel like imploded in moments and turn completely upside down. I had, shortly after our trip, after you and I met, I just kind of started going through things with my husband. We to make a long story short I had uncovered some past doings, that we had been struggling with some other things and I had at that moment I had decided we were going to separate. Nobody knew, I hadn't told anybody yet, we weren't going to tell the kids till they started school. So we were kind of living separate for a couple of weeks. It just started and kind of figuring that out, figuring out what I'm going to do, how I'm going to go through a divorce. Do I really want a divorce? This is scary. I'm going to lose all this. You know, going through all of that is hard enough.
Speaker 2:And then my two youngest daughters were in an awful car wreck and actually there's a semi truck that hit them basically. So my five year old at the time and her grandpa they were with their grandparents were t boned by this semi truck and we were told the first night that my little one wasn't going to make it. I mean, they were just like there's no way, there's no hope, there's a. I mean, she was broken from head to toe for a baby had. You know, her right hand was the only thing on her that wasn't casted up. And I mean talk about you know, just unexplainable grief. Luckily she came through and my other, my middle child, she, because she was on the other side of the car, was not harm, but not physically. She had some bumps and some bruises, to be sure, and some whiplash and all that, but she witnessed the whole thing and she saw her baby sister on the ground dying, you know, being pronounced dead at the scene. All of these things that have gone on. And she, my youngest, she came through and she, just every single thing.
Speaker 2:You know that's going to be a book one day, two, I don't know if it's going to be a memoir essay style. I haven't figured it out yet, but you and I were texting and you're like, bitch, you better write this shit down. And I'm like you know I am, I have that text somewhere and and I did, I did what I always do, which eventually led to the book that I have now. I always, I'm always scribbling stuff down and usually it's just for my personal self and we could talk about how I got to the book part, but anyway, and so I've written about that journey and because of that happening simultaneously going through a divorce, I mean talking about the rug just being ripped out from underneath you we really just spent two years trying to get her better, trying to help the older one, you know, with her emotions and adjusting. I mean it's a whole new life for us.
Speaker 2:And then I've got my oldest and you know, and she's affected by it as well and just in different ways, and it so it's just on top of that and then dealing, trying to get used to being a single mom and being a divorce, and all that. It's just been hell girl. It's been exhausting and tiring. So you know when I say I've spent a lot of days on the floor crying panic attack, not knowing where and what and who and where, I just there's been a lot of prayer and a lot of persistence and just there's just been a lot. And I'm never clues, you know I instagram is a lot lighter these days, a lot less, and I've spent a lot of time at time. What and what I feel like is a cocoon right about that in the book and I feel like I'm coming back and taking baby steps, and so that's just kind of like all of it in a nutshell and just well, I want to back up a little bit.
Speaker 1:I you know this podcast. The direction that I kind of decided to go is I'm talking about what I know and that's people's businesses and projects and things like that. But there's this one piece that kind of keeps coming into my podcast and that is the topic of grief. And it's so interesting to me and I'm sure that you felt like this, because it's not just like someone dying. I think when we go through grief, it's the end of relationships, it's the end of what was. It's, you know, grieving a person that you also once were. And I want to like go back to the part that you talked about. Like you and your husband decided to separate and without the right before the accident, Was your guys's intention to get a divorce or was it just, you know, like what? Where was the mind at, or where was, like the decision at, like right before the accident happened?
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, it's funny because I I at that point, because there was a lot, you know, and in a marriage I think how do I word this I struggled a lot during the marriage with a lot of things and one of the main things was when do you give up? Like when is that? You know, you talked about you're supposed to go through thick and thin. This is supposed to be a live thing, and I was in like I was a down wife, I held a lot back, I held my tongue and a lot of things, and at that point I was like, you know, I'm not, I'm not doing this forever, I'm not going to do it, and I think that I was probably about 85% there. But I think he could have probably taught me back into it.
Speaker 2:But what happened is, right after the accident, I actually had a lady, a girl, message me and the stuff that I had found out about was stuff from like years ago that was triggering the board, the divorce, and it was just kind of like piling on to other things. But then there was this we had just gotten back from the hospital and this woman who had been following me on Instagram. It's one of the reasons that I kind of cut back on Instagram and I'll post a whole lot. She didn't follow me for the entire year and I'm having an affair with my husband the entire year and mess me and the worst time of my life, like, hey, this has been going on and I just wanted to let you know and I didn't know she was at that time. You know, I had a lot more followers and I had a lot of people that didn't know they were. My stuff wasn't private and and so I didn't know. I mean, we I was like taking the kids to go and see him. I was at home holding down the fort, you know, just doing all the things that I thought were were the right things to do, and then he and I were just falling apart this whole time and then to come and find out that there was that level of deception. And then I've got this lady, I've got a child here that nearly died, messaging me out of spite because I guess he had called things off with her once the accident happened and we were getting ready to reconcile, like we were talking about it. And I will say that I just had, even though I thought like, okay, maybe this is God's way of saying we need to get back together. I'm just going through thoughts that I had and, yeah, oh my god, maybe this is God, like you know, bringing us back together.
Speaker 2:Sometimes it takes the worst of things, you know, and but in my gut and this is something that I have learned in my gut it just it was like sour milk. It was just like sour milk and I did not fully make that decision, and so that happened. And then I was like no, alright, no, because if this king, if this is going on and this was going on, and he can be that deceptive, and you know, reading all the things that he was actually saying to her, I was like you know what I'm done? And it came down to it's a very hard decision to say not only am I about to just light a torch to my life, I'm not going to say take it away from my kids, all these things that we have built, all these things, and I'm about to be the one that's going to burn it down. It came down to if my girls came to me with this problem, would I tell them to stay married? No, absolutely not.
Speaker 2:And then at that point, I was done. And then at that point you know it was. There's not a thing you can say to me in the world I love you to pieces. I don't understand how painful this is going to be. It was excruciating, but no, we're not doing it. Okay, go ahead. That's when the decision was made, honestly.
Speaker 1:One. Everyone listening to this is like, oh, sweet Amy, sweet, sweet Amy, but I need to let you guys know, amy, what is that? Fly like a butterfly, sting like a bee? No, you. And what did you do from not hitting someone with your car? When you got that message, like you had to have been. I mean, were you mad, were you sad, were you angry? Were you like, like, if you would have called me and said, don't ask questions, get on the flight, I need your help? I would have been like let's go. But that that's so much easier to say, obviously, when you don't go through that. But when you got that message, yeah, like, were you mad, were you sad? Were you angry? Like what is getting that message?
Speaker 2:like I was in the shower and I had a couple of messages come through and got out of the shower and he's pittering around in the kitchen and it was like a very like you ever have, like a quiet mad. If I say a word I'm gonna light you on fire. It was more of just like a very quiet like this volcano is. I mean, I was already out my wits in as it was, just from dealing with the accident, having been in the hospital for six weeks and just no sleep, the whole thing. But you know, when you're like quiet now, when I don't even have a fucking word to say, I just showed him and I was like get out, get out, get the out of my house. I don't know if I can cuss on this or not.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh yeah, I always click the sit button.
Speaker 2:Look at the fuck out of my house. And he knew don't say a word. I'm not gonna even try to lie, and you know, if he had, I don't really know what would have happened. But my kids are right there in the living room and so it was just a very quiet, very. You're looking me in my eye right now and you just know, like you don't say a word, get out. And yeah, I was furious and in I don't really know how, in that moment I had the wherewithal to not just go in there with a bat or whatever, all the things that go through your mind. But I also knew I had a lot riding on the line as far as like with the girls, and they had already been through so much and I just think that kept me at bay.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh my, you know, you guys. How long have you guys been together, been married and dated?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so we have been going on 11 years together and then we were getting ready. So our wedding anniversary was July 15th and it would have been our fifth anniversary, and then the accident happened on the 16th and I've got kind of a cool. Well, I'll just say it's kind of. I thank God every day that we had initially separated, and the reason is is because we were getting ready to go on our anniversary trip Every year. The kids would go and they would visit their grandparents for a week in the summer and then we would celebrate our anniversary and we were getting ready to go down to Big Bend and where we would have been we wouldn't have had any service.
Speaker 1:Oh, my God.
Speaker 2:Thank God every day that we were separated, because we would have been on that anniversary trip and I wouldn't have even known, and I would have been devastated because it would have been three days before I would have even gone back. So there's so many like little things throughout my story over the last few years where I'm like man, you know, god was actually like really looking out for me there, and there's a lot of that too that I've developed into that we can talk about. But just a lot of like I just go with the flow now, like I just I used to be. That's the process, yeah, just trust, you know. And the moment that something else comes, hits me or, you know, knocks me down again, I'm like, well, there must be a reason for it. I don't know. Yeah, we'll see, you know.
Speaker 1:So in those 11 years, obviously you guys, like you, not only built a life together, but you had friendships that were like mutual friendships. I think that that's a piece. Whether it's a breakup or a divorce is like always. One of the saddest things is like you build this life with someone, you have these friends, and it does kind of feel like, maybe, that all changes are all that. You know it's never the same. What was that experience like for you? And you know, that life that you guys had built, the people that you guys all know together, your friends, your family what was that like? And then also, I mean I feel like, if anyone can give advice, I wanna hear your advice for that.
Speaker 2:You know we did have that and people, if I'm close to you, you're gonna know what's going on with me. I'm just not one of those people that is gonna sugarcoat things or oh Valia.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, I'm just not. And I have friends that you know. His friends are married to my friends and there was there's several of those and they knew what was going on. But at the time, you know, of course, I was going through like the anger process and if somebody were asking, you know what's going on, and all of that, I was very vocal about it, but also knowing that I have to keep some things to myself. So I had to evolve in that sense, because there are relationships with my kids, with their kids, and things get said and things get passed around.
Speaker 2:And you know, as angry as I was, the last thing that I wanted to do was to be a topic of conversation. And people love to talk about when you're breaking up, no matter if they're your good friends or not, and I get it and I get it and I've been there. But the last thing that I wanted to do was be a topic of conversation and so I did hold back some and you know it wasn't that they didn't know what was going on, but I just wasn't completely open with my vitriol and my friends there in Utopia, you know they didn't know much about him because he was gone all the time. A lot of it was because of work, a lot of it was by choice, and so you know, he was very adamant, like I don't want you telling anybody, I don't want you telling them they don't need to know our business. I'm like well, it's not going to happen.
Speaker 2:Like well, sorry, they know, you know, but there were a lot of moments, especially where there were mutual friends involved, where I love you, you're my girl, I know you have my back, but also I just don't. I don't have the time and I don't have the interest to really just be a topic. Right, I'm here and so I just held back a little bit and also because I didn't want to I kept that in mind with the book too I didn't want to completely just bash him and bash our marriage is for what it was, because then the kids hear that and the kids hear about that, and I just didn't want that being passed on to them. So I was quieter than what you would normally probably see me as, and that has to be.
Speaker 1:I think, in that grief journey, knowing that you're like you know, I know I'm a spicy female, I know that I can give it where it needs to be gave I think that that's probably a part too, where you're like when you are quieter, you're like am I being my true self right now or am I validating my own feelings? Did you go through a process of that, like just questioning how you were handling things and what you were doing Like? Was there a lot of moments like that?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, there's a lot of moments like that and again I've completely evolved as a person. I think that I've learned a lot, and that was I question that a lot. But also I always just go back to the end goal or the end idea that again, I don't want to bash my kid's dad, I don't want to be that angry. I decided from the get-go I am not going to be the angry bit or why I am not going to give this that energy, like I'm going to be angry and private and, yes, there are going to be moments where I'm texting him off.
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Speaker 2:Awful things because I did that. And, yes, there are moments where talk about it in the book real moment I go out to the barbecue pit and I'm burning all our shit, everything, vows, wedding pictures, I mean. There were moments of where that anger was there, but I had to be aware of. You know, this needs to change here, this needs to be tweaked here, because this is the end goal and because this is the end idea here. And I just never wanted to be portrayed as the angry, bitter wife, because I knew I was gonna be angry in the moment but that was not gonna be my identity, right? And I'm not gonna be. That kept me at bay, you know, right right, no, oh my gosh, I love that.
Speaker 1:So you kind of just mentioned, too, like you guys were living on your farm. That was like a dream situation for you. Is that? A factor in what kept you in your situation for a while was that this life that you had worked really hard for is here and, you know, were you afraid that that, like there was no questions asked, this was gonna go away if we were separated 1000%.
Speaker 2:There's so many moments, and not just that, not just the physical, material things. But you know, do I want to end this family? Do I wanna put my kids through this, you know, do I? That's when a lot of like questioning my own values and questioning who I really was, when I was going through a lot of things that we went through, where I was like, if I decide to move on from this, is this true to who I am? So there were moments leading up to that where, absolutely, he got away with a lot more than one than anybody would get away with today. But he got away with a lot more because and there was all of that there and I think that he thought that I wasn't going anywhere because of that, and I'm pretty sure I don't remember, I'm pretty sure he even said that at some point, like you're not really gonna leave, and I think he really thought that I wasn't.
Speaker 2:And it was hard because taking that away from everybody and stepping everybody into a two bedroom apartment was hard to swallow. That was hard to swallow because that was all that I had, that's all that I could find, that the rentals there just wasn't a whole lot rental-wise. I had to be more budget conscientious because I had been a stay-at-home mom and I had contributed some to the income but I had really scaled back on real estate and I had really scaled back on what I had been doing previously because I was at home taking care of the kids and then all of a sudden I've got a not only all right guy, let's sell your horse. I mean, I'm bald. Y'all saw how close I was with my animals. I'm bald.
Speaker 2:The idea of just having to sell them and the kids and seeing the pain in their eyes like oh okay, there's Bobby, by, tell Bobby by. You know, and having to take everybody and stuff them into this apartment, like that fear, kept me there for a very, very, very long time. But again it just reached a point where it's like this is not going to change and I'm not doing this shit forever. I can offer, I can get back on my feet and I can offer so much more to my kids than this. Being a sad housewife, I'm not going to do it all day. If you're taking care of me and you love me, we've got me all day. What do you need, baby? You want me to rub your feet, hold your thoughts. Which you need. I got it, but I'm not going to do all that for somebody that's just going to treat me like I don't exist.
Speaker 1:Right, right, I need that. Oh my gosh, there had to be so many moments. I mean I can't imagine, as a fellow farm girl, like getting rid of those things. I mean, you know, there's so much work and there's something that you work on every single day, whether it's feeding them and taking care of them that had to be such a change when you were deciding what to do next, like, all right, well, we're going to have to move into this apartment. What was that humbling process like? Or was it like? This is what, this is our only option and this is what we're going to make happen. And you know one of your daughters I know that you keep referring to, like little ones, but one of your daughters is, you know she knew what was going on the whole entire time, like, how was that, as a mom, like navigating those conversations?
Speaker 2:There was a lot of vacillating between pull our panties up, let's go. We got to do this, we don't have a choice, because that was really the only thing that could get us through. And then it was very humbling. It's embarrassing. Like you're pat, you're selling your stuff. You know, everybody knows what's going on. At this point, whether you've said a word or not, you're going to sound. Everybody knows how big of a town. Yeah, oh, I don't even know. I mean we don't even have a stoplight. We've got one like corner store, the post office and a gas station and a feed store. That's about it, which we loved.
Speaker 2:I mean you're talking like this is our dream life and talk about a fall from grace. I mean I was on that trip in Arizona. We were on just, and I met it. I loved my husband. I love such a great husband. Like God's really blessed us, like we really I feel like we really made it like where this is, this is where we want to be, and then all of a sudden, you know that's just strip from you. It's, it's a lot. You know it's very humbling, it's there's a lot of swallowing up your pride, that you have to do and it didn't feel good. It didn't feel good and there were a lot of moments I was calling you know I she's one of my best friends, that really she's a sister when I'm like truly just crying like a little girl, like no, I've got life on rewind and I'm in this apartment. Maybe I should just go back.
Speaker 2:And you know, I had somebody that gave me a really good analogy. They, you know, if you talk about like the Bible, that you know the story of the, the, the, the Egyptians and Moses, they break some out and they're in the wilderness and they're like, yeah, like they start talking about you know, we should go back, because we were fed and we had somewhere to sleep and we weren't out in the elements, and instead of like waiting for that promise land and getting through all of that, they wanted to double back and it's like, yeah, but don't, don't you remember you were a slave? Like don't you remember that this was, this is what you were dealing with? So there were a lot of moments like that where I'm like I am in the complete, utter darkness and I don't have a choice, and there were times where I'm like maybe I should go back, maybe, you know, I wanted to double back Like this is where it was comfortable.
Speaker 2:This is what I know, this is what I knew and this is what they knew. And maybe it's better for everybody If I, if I just, you know call and apologize and cancel the sale, and you know so that there was a lot of struggling with that, a lot of struggling with that. And then also, you know, I loved them and I loved our family and I wanted so bad just to be like a good wife and a good mom and just having to I accept a new identity was was crushing, oh my gosh, okay.
Speaker 1:So let's talk about that. Let's one. I appreciate you sharing all of this. That's not easy, but I will say this my intentions are that the person who needs to hear this is hearing this podcast right now, and one either gives them the strength to leave a situation that they know they shouldn't be in, so I know that this is going to help someone like I know. It is like I just like have it in my soul. But let's talk about your new identity. And you know, the day that you turn the key into your apartment and the girls are there and you're like you know, was there a moment where the should I go back? Stopped and that's when the new identity started, or was there kind of like this overlap?
Speaker 2:It was total overlap. I mean it's sometimes some days I woke up saying, okay, maybe we need to get a plan together and go back, and then by the end of the day I'm like fuck that, you know, and it was inching in the other direction and I really really had to be steadfast and I really really really had to remember what it was and remember how unhappy I was. But you know, there's one of the poems it's like I was sad when I was in it and now I'm sad when I left and this fucking sucks and you can't see what's ahead and you don't know what's in front of you, you don't know if you're going to make it out, you don't know if you've just ruined everybody's life for everything. But you know, there were a lot of moments where I mean I wasn't even a new identity yet. I don't think I was other than I was just in pieces, like my whole life just shattered.
Speaker 1:Was there anything in those moments of first, you know, still teetering back and forth, where you were like, okay, I'm going to do this. And was it like a dream board? Or you wrote down your goals, or you wrote a letter to yourself, like even beyond, like starting to write the book, or maybe that was the thing that happened. But what was if you look back on this journey? Were there any first, we'll call them like personal development steps that you started to take to be like I've got to start feeling better about this, like something's got to change.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I said it a lot to a lot of people that have asked. You know, right before everything happened, like the year two years before it had happened, I had taken a really, really strong stance on like self development and self improvement and you know, I thank God for that every day, because I was in a place, prior to all of this happening, where I was reading, just absorbing as many books as I could. I was feeling strong spiritually, I really felt like I was on top of my game and you know, there would be times where I'd be like I'd rather listen to a true crime podcast and put on this audio book, and there was this outside force. I was like, no, maybe you should, you know, go ahead and put in that John C Maxwell book instead. You know, we and we did a lot of that in our bond and it was one of those things again that I think I was just led to it at the right time without even knowing it, and so fast forward to the process, there were so many skills and mindset techniques and there was so much more understanding because of that development that I had gone, gone through, and I think that was the foundation of me being able to pick myself up. I really do, because there's just, there's things that you learn when you, when you dive into parts of your shadow self and parts of your trauma and parts you know in really a big thing, a big, a big help for moving on is understanding.
Speaker 2:And when I was, and we all went to therapy because I was like I'm going to lose my mind if I don't, or everything, and you know, I just was telling the therapist I'm like, yeah, I just I just feel stuck, like I just feel I feel like God has left me, I feel like I'm ruining everybody's lives and I just feel like I'm in this darkness and there's no life. And his advice he said losing love or losing a relationship, especially one that's this established, where you guys have a life together, is a lot like losing somebody. And you made the same reference to death, because you're not only processing losing that person, you're talking about losing the plans that you guys have made, the future events, the idea of who you are, the ideal of what your life is, and all of that. And he said you should really start. You should really start writing it down. And then I knew about the stages of grief, but he was like right now you're going through one of these stages, because there's like the five standard stages of grief, and he's like right now you're going through depression and you've just gotta know that none of this happens in a straight line and there's a lot of back and forth. He said, but at the end, eventually you will reach acceptance. And he just really shed a lot of light on accepting things comes with understanding things, and if you write it all out, it helps give you a visual. And so that's so.
Speaker 2:The foundation of the self development. To circle back around to your very short question, to my long-winded answer no, you're good. The foundation of the self development led to knowing that I needed to get into therapy and then the therapist shining a light on knowing that I needed to map this out for myself, my own personal journey. Putting it down on paper really helped me, see. Oh, this is why I'm here. This is how I got here, you know, not with the accident, but just with the relationship, and these are baby steps that I can take into a new life, and I think it helped and that's what started.
Speaker 2:The concept of the book is I started reading through things that I was writing down and I could pinpoint oh, this is you know, this is me bargaining here, this is denial, this is you know, whatever it is. And because I'm constantly writing things in the moment, I realized I had looked back and I had all this stuff that I had written down throughout the relationship good times and bad and I could really see the leading up to the ending of the relationship, and so there's a whole section called death and that's just stuff that I had written leading up to seeing the foundation crumbling, and so all of those things in combination are what kind of helped me get out of it.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh. Okay, let's talk about the book. So you'd been writing things down. When was the light turned on where you're like I'm gonna make this into a book?
Speaker 2:Well, that outside force that had was like maybe you should keep on with this self-development journey, started talking to Meakin' and without better words outside voice. You know, that spiritual nagging that we have, that gut feeling that initially gave me that sour feeling, was just like, you know, maybe you should start putting this into categories and I'm like, okay, I'm kind of curious. Let me just start. Well, let me just start, you know, putting this down. So I started putting it down. Maybe I can give this to the girls one day, maybe they can read it, maybe I can pass this on to them when they're going through a bad relationship. And then, you know, maybe there's a lot of people that go through this, maybe they could benefit from it. So then I started a little blog and then that started kind of getting some traction and people were responding and sending you messages Like you know this, oh, I felt this. Like you know. You know, when you hear that song and you just like played over and over in the car, you're like I feel that line so much and I was getting that feedback and then I was sharing it with friends who have, you know, been going through divorce, just kind of sharing some of this stuff and you know they're the real friends, the ones that are like girl, that shirt's ugly going to change before we leave. Like those are the ones that I was sending it to and they're like you know, this is really good.
Speaker 2:And then I started thinking maybe this is something that I can put out there. But then I got the idea of a book instead of a blog. Like I can just put it all out and, you know, put it all in poetry form. And there was a lot of like who the hell do you think you are You're going to put it in a book? Like what? Again, there's that nagging. You know, like, no, actually you should, like this is something you need to do. So I just pulled my big girl brushes up and said, okay, we're going to do it then. And then I just just did it.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, how long ago did you start that Like? When was like, when did that start?
Speaker 2:So in our little video apartment, I started sorting it out. And that's around the time that I said you know, I don't know if I'm going to get through this, but I'm at least going to put this shit down. So I started putting it down and then it kind of snowballed. I started, okay, getting dedicated like every single night. I started putting it into categories, so we're talking like 2021, 2022.
Speaker 2:And then I started going to the library and getting some inspiration and being like, okay, I have this topic, you know, maybe I need some more for the denial section, so I have this top aside.
Speaker 2:I would just go and I would just read stuff just to kind of get in the feel like making myself right, cause I didn't have anything else going on because, on top of everything else, the real estate market crash or not crash, but like all the interest rates jumped up and so like my business came to a halt and I'm like I don't got shit else to do but sit at home and cry or go and do something productive. So that's what I did and I would just go sit at the library and I would just read for inspiration and I would just write. And then I would just come home and I set a watch in my 90 day fiance and you know, go put it, go put a couple of sections together. So it took a full year of just making myself again, so that I'm not I'm kind of distracted by all the noise and other shit going on. I've got something productive, and so it took a full year. So that was all of 20, the end of 2021, 2022.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh. And since it's launched which I think I'm gonna do like a giveaway on my Instagram for the book, so yeah, the week that this comes out, I think that's what I need to do. But was there kind of you had mentioned that in the beginning stages it was for you and then you're like, well, maybe I can give it to the girls and it could be something they read when they're going through a hard time. Now that it's in paper form and anyone can get their hands on it, what is kind of like your intentions for this piece of art?
Speaker 2:My intention is, I just hope. Being an entrepreneur, sometimes you dabble. There's been a lot of things that I've put out and I'm always like terrified like the podcast and I was gonna do a boutique and all these things. This is the first thing I've ever put in out in my life that I've said here.
Speaker 1:Here it is. I don't expect anything in return.
Speaker 2:I would love for it to profit and do all these things, of course, but I don't. I don't give a shit, in the sense that I don't care. There's gonna be somebody that's gonna read this book and they're gonna go. This is the most amateur garbage I have ever read in my life and I don't care because I have read through it. Now, I've had it in my hand. Of course, I wrote them, but it's different. When I've had it in my hand and I got to the end of it, I'm like somebody's gonna read this and somebody needs to know that there is light at the end of that tunnel and they're sitting in this dark place that I was sitting in.
Speaker 2:There's depression was really difficult to write about, in a sense, because it's kind of embarrassing. You're like I literally got up to take the kids to school and went right back to bed. There was a period in time where I didn't. I was holed up, I wasn't answering calls, I wasn't answering texts, I was ordering food, I wasn't cooking. It was paper plates, plastic bags, and I felt like the world is small in the world.
Speaker 2:But that was just part of going through it and somebody needs to know that. So in that sense, I want this to help somebody, I want somebody to know, I want them to read some of this and I want them to be able to relate to it and to know this is real and this. Other people are going through it and you're not a shitty person and you're not. You're just going through something and there is there isn't an end of the road and God's like surprise, I don't know what it's gonna look like. You're just gonna have to wait. But just stick with it and also know that that vacillating and maybe going back, and maybe sometimes you do go back and you reconcile and maybe it's wonderful.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 2:I'm all for that too, but either way, I just want somebody my intention is for somebody to read this and to know that they're not just, they're not the only ones with these angry, awful thoughts and these depressed thoughts and this bargaining feeling of maybe I should go back and all that, it's all. I think we can all relate, even if we've never been through a divorce. If you've lost a love, I bet you can relate to some of this and hopefully it helps them get through that.
Speaker 1:I would love to talk to you and ask you a little bit about just your journey with I hate saying like your journey with depression because, like, you didn't ask for that, you didn't ask to go through it and those stages of grief that you were mentioning.
Speaker 1:When you're someone who is the life of the party so much fun, the happiest person in the room, I'm sure, all of the things that you've been called before and you're going through those moments of depression where you're just dropping the girls off from school and going back home, I don't think people understand in that grief journey how bad that feels, cause when you're going through it, you know that that's not right, you know you're not that person, but you're like I also just wanna feel for a little bit and this is how I feel and that teeter tottering is something that it's like a symptom I can't even describe. Can you speak to that just a little bit of navigating through that Cause? I've heard you be described as that person before, like oh my God, amy, she's so much fun, like she's so happy, like she's gonna be fine, she's so strong, but going through those really bad days, like, can you just speak to that a little bit?
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, depression in general. I think it's something that should be talked about more and I'm glad that there is more conversation around it because you know, just clinical I guess you could say depression. It runs in my family, my mom, you know. She was a very melancholy kind of person and I saw her go through depression and now I can understand and I can have empathy for what she was going through, but also make the decision that I don't wanna be that person that lets that take over my life. And so depression in general I've struggled with. I do think that there are some genetic ties to it.
Speaker 2:I've struggled with depression and usually, sometimes there's a catalyst, you know, like something going on in life, but sometimes it's just man, I don't know. It hasn't. I haven't seen the sunshine in four days and I can't really tell you why, but I feel like shit and I don't wanna do nothing and I don't wanna talk to nobody and I think that there is this misconception where you know I might be the life of the party and all these things, but it doesn't mean that I don't still struggle.
Speaker 2:And I think, like you said, I think people forget that and I'll be real with you. I think that going through depression, you just have to learn. I tell my kids it's like a sickness, because my oldest, she struggles with it now too and I wanna be that light for her and tell her like it's like a sickness, like in the middle of it you feel like, oh, this flu is never gonna go away, I'm never gonna be able to breathe again, I'm never gonna stop coughing again. And it feels like that with depression. And there is a peak where you just like, when you have a fever, like you have that worst day. But there's always the other side of it and sometimes you get out of it because you've gone to the doctor and gotten a shot, or sometimes you just have to wait it out.
Speaker 2:There's many ways and I try to like give her those tools. That kind of helped me and I think experience, having experienced depression before, helped me, when I'm in the moment of it, to be like, hey, it's okay. You know how to tell the baby myself you know, hey, it's okay. And knowing there's people that are like dang, it's fine, she's good, and you know they're not checking up, because she's good. And you know we're looking at me like why should we be such a baby? Like you know, I'm sure there were some of that going on. But just kind of having to hold myself in and kind of hold myself and just baby talk myself, you know like it's okay, you know how this goes, you know you're gonna be good.
Speaker 2:This sucks right now but we know, and I think that anybody suffering through depression has to know that it is. It's an illness, and some seasons are worse than others. You know, and realistically are. You know, literally and metaphysically, you know. But so, yeah, I just think experience, I just think having known that, okay, this is what it is and you know what. Stay home, don't do shit, you can get away with it. Don't Order that food and I talk about that in the books, one of the things I talk about. You know, if that's what you gotta do vacillate, be angry, be sad, be life of the party, go back down, pick yourself back up that's part of it, it's part of the journey.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, that's so beautifully said. Would you say that before all of this, before separation, before the accident, if you would have had a friend going through the same exact thing, do you think you would have been able to show up for them the same way before as you would now, or did, going through all of this kind of? There's two parts to this. I say this because after losing my mom, I had handfuls of friends and family members. I was the first person to lose someone that significant in my life in this group, and I had so many people say I just don't know what to say. Oh my gosh, I have no words, or I don't know what to say to you, or it took them weeks or months, or I still haven't heard from them.
Speaker 1:And I was very, very angry, like I was so angry that I was like at the point where I was like I'm gonna make a list of all the people who haven't reached out to me and I remember there finally was a moment not that long ago, like last month, where I was like it's not their fault that they don't know how to talk to me about this, but when they go through this, I will be the first fucking person with a lasagna on their doorstep because that was actually what I needed.
Speaker 1:I needed you to bring me food. I needed you to just stop by my house because I'm not gonna answer your calls and like that's nothing personal to you, that's like you know going through that. So I say that to say if any of my friends would have lost their mom prior to me losing my mom, I would have been the same way. I wouldn't have known how to show up for them. But now afterwards, I do know, Was that very similar, you know, with your situation and that grief process of your friends and how it was handled? And now, looking back, do you think you can be a better person for them if they go through this?
Speaker 2:I can only hope so. I have had several friends that subsequently went through divorce right after my divorce and they reached out and I hoped that what I share helps them and I hoped that what I share is beneficial and you know I'm a long-winded person so you're never gonna get a short answer. Hopefully it's worth something, you know. I hope that it's it is beneficial to them and I think so. I think that going through something. It's one of the reasons I think maybe we go through it because there are other people that now go through it and you have a completely different perspective.
Speaker 2:And it's the same with you know my experience with Sadie and you know, having that thought of like thought, I couldn't imagine losing my child. I couldn't imagine. But when I was in those moments and knowing what thoughts were going through my head, and now I see, now I can, now I see, I think. So I think that there is more. I think there's more purpose to our pain than what we even realize, because if we can't use our pain and help somebody else with their similar pain, I think that there's a lot lost there and I think that that perspective is there for a reason. I don't think it's by accident. I think that's why there's some contrast there in life, because you do you, because you're seeing the things through their eyes and you are able to help. And yeah, sometimes when somebody's going through something like that, like grief, through loss of love or death, sometimes they just need you to sit, sometimes they just need just bring me some food, so I don't have to come do my dishes and just don't say a word.
Speaker 2:I don't need to talk, I just need to be there.
Speaker 1:I don't want to talk about it, I just would love some takeout. Okay, I'm really excited asking this question. So folks launched. The worst is final Kids are doing great. Are you on? Are you on the dating scene? What, what, what? First off, okay, one, I like have all the questions about this. There has been a couple of moments we're around the same age, I think, and there has been so many moments where I'm like I can't imagine going back out into the like dating scene. Like so much has changed, like there's so many apps and like ways to meet people and there's a lot of weirdos out there. Also, instagram you have everyone you could ever imagine available at your fingertips if you want them. Girl, how is it out there? What are you doing? Are you dating? Are you not dating? Have you sworn off men or women forever? You know, like whatever you're into, like I could never.
Speaker 2:I'm too much of a romantic. I could never swear off love forever. I'm just, I love to. I love the pain. I guess I don't know about what Rihanna said, something like that I am.
Speaker 2:So I am in a serious relationship, but I have had to experience the dating, the trash can of dating and what it means. And it is not all that great. You know. Funny, because like I remember like going through like just fights with my husband at the time and being like all right, I'm gonna let this slide because I really don't wanna date again Like it is. It's tough, like having to start all over and you're just what's your favorite color? You know you're saying something on TikTok that's so real.
Speaker 2:I have like shallow conversations and just you know having to deal with all that I feel. So I've done a couple of soft launches on my Instagram and then I take it down because I get like you know I really again, I just don't wanna be a topic. I just don't wanna be a topic of conversation. I don't wanna be, I don't know. So I hesitate now a lot more than I used to of putting anything out on Instagram. It's not great. I'm just we'll just put it like we'll just say it like that.
Speaker 2:But one thing about I think going through shitty relationships is that you know a little bit better for what you wanna do the next time, and I will say that going through this divorce just like shot my standards way up, like there is a whole list of shit I'm never putting up with again. There's no way, I don't care who you are. I mean, travis Kelce is like really hot, you know, and Taylor's got him. Okay, that's fine. I'm just saying if he shut up in my door today, there's just a whole lot he couldn't get away with, right, and so there's that. And luckily, I think that I have found somebody that is on that same page with me. You know, they've been divorced, they have kids, they are in a stage of life and they're very similar to mine and they're very supportive and they're very I don't know. They're just like a complete opposite of what I was married to and I'm like, wow, is this what I was missing out on this whole time?
Speaker 1:Better than you expected.
Speaker 2:Better than I expected. And then you know there was. But there was that time you know where, you know you're going on dates and you're meeting people and you know I don't really Instagram and the whole thing. If somebody messages me on Instagram or Facebook I'm instantly skeptical. I have no interest. And then I did try like the dating apps for like three minutes and I was like, oh this is garbage.
Speaker 2:This is garbage but it's for you know. But if you're getting back on your feet and you're just like the training wheels and you just like I hadn't dated in 11 years, I didn't know what the hell I was doing and so it was fun for that. It was fun, like you know, getting dressed up and going and you know, getting the butterflies and all that scary, but it was. I would say that there's some value in that and I think that knowing like what you're looking for is very special and like knowing, like okay, this is where I mess up my last relationship.
Speaker 2:Like okay, and then just having some standards. Which? Who had standards when they were 19,? I didn't.
Speaker 1:Right, I've gone. Was there like a checklist that you had Like, were there very specific things that you were looking for? You're like, if I'm going to get back out here and do this again, he must be X, y and Z.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I've heard so many things of like like advice, of where you write down like what you need and you kind of like don't deviate from that checklist and yeah, and I think that the guy I'm with he's it's funny, it's weird.
Speaker 2:There's like weird things on there. Like for one of the things, like I wanted something that could understand kind of like having a traumatic childhood a little bit and that's maybe like done some similar self-development to get through that. Because I think a big part of my reason, my spiritual journey here, is to guide my children through stuff that I didn't, don't ever want them to experience and and you know the generational curses and the whole thing, and so I kind of wanted some of that, with at least aware of that, if maybe not having experienced and maybe had some similar self-development and yeah, that that was like their background and he understands it and so he can understand when I, when I'm talking about, he understands like what it took to get through that, and I think that was. So that was a big part. But yeah, I definitely had a list and it's weird. It's like some of the like most random things you're like oh wow, I didn't think that was going to come true. But it's.
Speaker 1:I didn't expect to get that one, but we'll put that one on here anyway, there were some extras for sure.
Speaker 2:There were some extras for sure.
Speaker 1:Do you so your daughter? She's at the age where she can, like you know, start dating boys, things like that. Do you have any advice to her or anyone that's parenting teenagers when they're, you know, getting into those first relationships or interested in boys or girls? You know what has been like your conversation with her. You know seeing so much just over the last two years, but you know her life in general.
Speaker 2:So yeah, she is actually dealing with her own situation. Shift right now situation shift.
Speaker 2:They're not serious about you, but they want you in their lives and they take advantage of that and she's like needy been that. And so my job as a parent is to give the information to make sure that she's safe, and then she's gonna take the rest and run with it, cause you know we're talking, she's almost 17. She's almost an adult. And what's funny is that when she was about 12 years old, everybody had boyfriends and girlfriends and I understood that. I understood that that was the reality. But I told her then. I said well, I'm sorry, we're just not doing that. If you want to have a little boyfriend at school and you know all of that, like that's fine, but you're not getting a phone, we're not texting nobody, we're not going anywhere, like. And I told her then. I said you know, relationships are very, it's just hard. It's hard on the heart, especially as young as you are. You're not going to find somebody. That's serious. You know all the things that I think parents tell them and she she would get so mad at me. Funny story I had a friend, she was a teacher at the school and she hit me up one day.
Speaker 2:She's like hey, I'm just gonna let you know that you know she's talking to this boy and he is not the one you want her talking to. And she's like, going down the rap sheet of like all these things, I told her I was like, hey, you're not allowed to talk to this boy. And she's like, how did you know? Like, how'd you know? And I'm like, well, I just know, okay, I'm mom, I just know. Well, then my friend calls me back. She's like, yeah, so they're still dating. They walked down the hall holding hands and actually you know where you sit and you pick her up.
Speaker 2:She like goes around through the breezeway so she would go get my youngest and she'd bring her around to the car, but she would go around the back way. So one day I met her over there she didn't realize I had part of it and she was like holding hands with him. They were like hugging, getting ready, like you know go, you know you split up so that I wouldn't see. And I was like you know, I was like you need to tell him right now you're breaking up. And I made her break up with him in front of everybody and maybe that wasn't like the kindest thing to do. And she was devastated and she was so mad at me and I just remember having that conversation with her later that night and I said look, because she at the time she was obsessed with dogs. And I said, look, if our dog Ellie at the time, if Ellie, if you saw her about to run out the house and run in front of a big semi truck, would you let her do it? She says no, go get her. I said, well, she's going to be so mad, she really wants to. Are you going to let her do it? She said, well, no, why would I do that? And I'm like that's the thing as a parent I can see things that you can't see, and if I can stop it, I'm not going to let you go out and run in front of that big truck. Right Two years later that boy was in juvie and she's gone through so many things.
Speaker 2:I just try to be real with her and I don't know if that's good parenting advice or not.
Speaker 2:Check back with me in five years We'll see how it works. But I just want her to understand and I try to make her understand. And now I've got my 10-year-old going into 11. And it's funny because she'll tell her hey, you shouldn't really kind of listen to what mom says, because she's telling the truth and she's trying to kind of guide her through some of the things that I had to guide her through, and she shares some of the same advice. It's so funny, and she was just telling her the other day, like you really shouldn't worry about dating right now, like it's really more trouble than it's worth, and I promise you like it's not going to matter. And of course, the middle one she's like in one ear out the other Typical middle though, yeah, but she's close enough with me where she can tell me, and I think part of that has just been because I've been real with her from the beginning. I'm not going to judge you for your decisions, but I'm going to tell you that's right girl.
Speaker 2:I'm going to stop you if it's dangerous and I'm going to tell you if it's not looking good hun, yes.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh. I love that yeah.
Speaker 2:She's in her situation right now. I send her TikToks, you know just, and she's like I know, mom, I know, I just I can't get it, I can't let them go. And I'm like I know it's hard.
Speaker 1:Take a number. There's going to be a lot more of them. Just don't get hung up on the first one. You see, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I get it. I'm like I've been there, like I know this person's awful for me, keep running back to him and it just is what it is Like, right.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, I love that. I think I love that you did that. That's something that my mom would have totally done, so I can appreciate that, and I just love the relationship that you have with your daughters, too. That's something that I just makes me smile when you do share them or just like seeing updates from them, just like they're these little, their own human beings, now like off living their own lives. Your daughter, a junior this year or a senior this year?
Speaker 2:She's a junior, ok. Oh wait, I don't know I lied Hold on. She's a sophomore because she's summer baby, so we'll start a year later.
Speaker 1:So she's got plenty of time to figure out. I mean, she's so pretty, I'm like girl and it's going to get better, so just blow it down.
Speaker 2:Let them kind of sweat it a little yeah.
Speaker 1:OK, oh, my gosh Girl, this I literally could sit and talk to you forever. But why don't you all add this stuff in the show notes? But would you pimp yourself out? Let people know where they can find you, where they can find your book, and then I'll also make sure that I add all this stuff in the show notes as well.
Speaker 2:Yes, I will pimp myself out. I don't have a whole lot going on social media right now. I've got some stuff in the works now that I'm kind of coming back to life, so to speak. I have a copy of the book here. It's dearly divorced. It's very image heavy. I wanted the imagery to kind of carry along with the emotions in the poetry.
Speaker 2:The poetry itself is not Shakespearean or hard to translate. It's very easy to read and hopefully easy to relate to. So you can find it anywhere that books are sold online is probably the easiest, fastest route. And then my Instagram is at the Amy Bolding. That's just my personal one. And then if you want to follow along with poetry or any of the other stuff that I'm going to be writing because I have a couple of other, like I said, projects in the works it's just Amy Bolding poetry on Instagram. Same thing on Facebook, tiktok I'm playing with. I don't have a whole lot there yet, but yeah, if you want to see me kind of slowly come back to life, that's kind of what's going on right now.
Speaker 1:So my gosh. Amy, thank you so much. You were someone who, when I was making my master list of everyone that I wanted to talk to on this podcast, you were right up there at the top, and so I'm so glad that we found a date that works. I can't wait to put this podcast out. I hope everyone goes and buys this book and reaches out to you and follows you, because, knowing you, I know that one. Your journey, moving forward is going to be so worth watching. But also these new projects that you have coming too, I think, are just. This is just the start of it. I really, I truly believe that.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much. Thank you for having me. I miss you to pieces now that life has kind of settled out.
Speaker 1:Girls trip we were just going to make that trip. Like we're going to do it. Do we need to go back to Scottsdale? Is that what you're telling, Please?
Speaker 2:let's do it.
Speaker 1:I thought you just look at me the right way and I will. I'll book my ticket.